So just when I get completely discouraged about the transgender movement in SF or being transgender in SF, something happens that gives me hope. As most readers know, I have sometimes been willing to take politicians to task for their votes on transgender issues or on transgender representation. I sometimes just don’t have the willingness to tolerate ignorance. Or the willingness to tolerate indifference.

It is shocking sometimes how dismissive or disrespectful I have seen people be towards transgender persons. It isn’t like people sit around consciously thinking, transgender people aren’t as worthy as others. It’s more like trans people have to work five times as hard/be five times as good to be considered competent. And even then, well….

As I have noted in earlier columns, I sometimes am willing to address it, but sometimes I don’t. In fact, I have even gone so far as to suggest that you can call me a coward, and sometimes you may be right.

I often struggle with how much I need to confront people’s ignorance, indifference, and sometimes bigotry about transgender issues. And figuring out whether someone is being ignorant, indifferent or a bigot is sometimes hard. Most of the time, it is simply ignorance. But even educating someone who is being ignorant can be time consuming, difficult, and even painful.

As I have said before, I could do a lot better. I could educate people more. And I could confront those who should know better. Sometimes I take the heat and do it. Sometimes I don’t. I feel like a coward when I don’t. It sounds cliché but I even have trouble sleeping at night when I look the other way. And then there is the question of whether pushing too hard or holding people accountable for their actions will end up leaving you burned. Chances are that most don’t want to be educated on transgender issues and most don’t want to be held accountable for the things they do that are hurtful to transgender people.

They may even go so far as to attack you in your workplace for trying to educate them or hold them accountable. Hard to believe that someone would attack you at your job for holding people accountable for their actions against transgender people, but it truly does happen. Really.

And when the transgender community has such shocking rates of unemployment and underemployment, you think twice about jeopardizing your job. There are figures as high as 70% unemployment in SF for some sections of the transgender people. That doesn’t happen by accident. And those that are employed are mostly employed in what I call the Gay ghetto-essentially LGBT and HIV non-profit organizations. And the truth is that folks only have jobs there because a lot of very courageous transgender folks and their allies fought to make that space safe for transgender people to work.

But the good news is that every once in a while something happens that knocks your socks off. Someone does something or says something that makes your heart leap or the hair go up on the back of your neck. I remember when a leader of a national LGBT civil rights organization came out and said that he had made a mistake when he was the head of the New York State LGBT lobbying group. He had decided to leave out transgender people from employment discrimination legislation that protected lesbians and gays. He stood up and admitted he made a mistake to the national LGBT media and said that he would not make the same mistake twice. As a national leader, he wanted to make sure that federal legislation protected transgender people as well. Now, I know it is corny but my heart did leap. My hair did go up on the back of my neck. A reporter called me for comment on the story and did a double take when my voice choked up. I know. Kind of silly really but it is those kinds of moments that sustain me and fill me with hope. Hope that we all need on some days…

So when another leader, Assembly member Leland Yee, called me to say that he had also made a mistake, a mistake that had hurt the transgender community, and that he wanted to apologize, I felt that same feeling again. For the first time ever, the first time in my memory anyway, a politician said that he wanted to meet with the transgender community to apologize for a vote he made several years ago at the Board of Supervisors on health care benefits for transgender people. He said that he didn’t understand the issues involved and how hurtful it was for transgender people to be excluded from health care coverage.

I will never forget the vote on that legislation. I’ll never forget that day sitting in the Board of Supervisors in a room full of transgender people waiting and hoping. The author of the legislation, Supervisor Mark Leno so ably articulated our humanity for us. The calls were coming in from all over the city. People didn’t understand the issues involved. They wanted the Supervisors to vote no. We needed nine votes and we got nine. While one had to be “found” in his office, he ultimately did vote our way. A cheer went up in the room and there wasn’t a dry eye in the audience. I will never forget that day.

Okay, you are saying to yourself, but isn’t he just being smart by doing this? He is running for office, right? Well, yes. But damn. This is the first time an elected official wanted to apologize. Usually people get defensive, deflect, or rationalize their behavior, let alone politicians who seem to have the patent on avoiding accountability for their behavior.

Recently another politician ran for office who tried to block a transgender person from getting on a commission. When confronted about his vote by former Harvey Milk Democratic Club President Debra Walker, he said in a room full of LGBT activists, that he never thought he was going to have to run city-wide. He blew it. He could have turned it around. Shown some regret, apologized, and reached out to those in the room, but essentially, he said that he never knew he was going to be held accountable because in his part of the city, no one cared. Well actually that isn’t true. One woman did care. One of my best friends in the world, Cecilia Chung, a transgender activist and my hero, lives in his district. Granted she is only one vote. But if I was running for office and I could only get one vote, I would be honored to have hers.

Cecilia Chung in the middle of her admirers at her birthday party

So politicians are good at deflecting, not being accountable. So when one shows courage and integrity, well, give him some credit. I do. Thank you Assembly member Leland Yee. Cecilia and I will be happy to pull that meeting of trans people together.

Assembly member Leland Yee

Damn. I think the glass is half full today. I hope you have that kind of day too. One where your heart leaps. One where the hair goes up on the back of your neck. And even maybe your voice chokes up. Those are good days to have.